Believe in Goodness?

Kevin, the boys and I went to dinner over the weekend with a perfectly precious hockey family that we have all come to love. While we were sitting at the table, munching away on our cheese balls (up here they’re balls, not sticks, made with cheddar and completely delicious!), the topic of conversation turned to a set of events that happened several weeks ago at the hockey rink. 

After a somewhat heated discussion with another parent about the extremely competitive game and penalties that had been rendered, I was brought before the board in violation of the “Zero Tolerance Policy”.  After sheer panic struck my soul at the thought of being suspended from the rink, having to give my “testimony”, and crying and praying profusely, it was found that I did not violate the policy and was removed from the list of offenders, being told “Sorry for the mix up.” I later found out that the parent with whom I had the discussion was on the board and it was her child’s actions I had questioned. So... I was kind of drawn into the whole issue “mistakenly”.  

At the conclusion of the discussion, my friend said something that bothered me somewhat, but I quickly dismissed it. He said,”Chantelle, you really have to try to see the goodness in people.” “Oh my gosh!”, I thought, “I DO! I am, generally, very reasonable, loving and forgiving!” Blah, blah, blah.

The whole episode, minus the statement from my friend, has really bothered me over the last few weeks and in spite of prayer, I have been unable to let it go.  I have felt “black-balled” at the rink for myself and the boys … we have all been very uncomfortable. It’s been as if word got out and opinions of us have changed. The past few days have been especially hard and until this morning, I didn’t understand why.

Looking back, there have been days and days of God trying to “remove the scales” from my eyes, but constantly-seeking, open-to-the-Spirit thinking, (completely stubborn) me, has missed Him. (I know, imagine that.) As always, He had a plan and the messages intensified a couple days ago.

First, my Spirit of Prophecy mentioned that my spirit had become “defiled”, that I had allowed something not of God to get in, to which I wondered what it could be and prayed for Him to reveal it. And when a friend posted on FB that we should always "believe in the goodness of humanity", I clicked that I liked it, but inside myself, while wishing it were true, had a bit of a doubting spirit. But to top it all off, last night, Greyson came home with an issue at school … immediately, I took his side, became his defender and left a short, to the point message for his music teacher who had questioned why he hadn’t turned in money for his recorder yet, after he’s been sick with the flu and not at school for 2 weeks. I thought the worst of her…did not give her the benefit of the doubt she deserved and when she called to explain (the truth was Nothing like I had imagined), my heart felt sick and I had to apologize this morning. I hate that.

"The pain of obedience is far worse than the pain of regret"...posted by a friend, ALSO yesterday.

My friend’s words at dinner over the weekend rang in my ears after speaking with Grey's teacher. My goodness, have I learned nothing after all these years of studying His word? “Self control”, “fruit of the spirit”, “walk in love”, “love covers all”, “take thoughts captive”, “trust God’s word, not your emotions” and although it’s, technically, not in the Bible, “do unto others” … any of this ringing a bell, Chantelle?

Suffice it to say, I am humbled, convicted and reminded once again how incredibly sneaky the enemy is. I allowed this situation to get out of control and become like a god to me. Ever faithful, my God has revealed to me through it that I Have come to be suspicious of people and to Not expect goodness in them. Oddly, but especially, since we moved here, I am even surprised when people are kind and generous in spirit.

But, how did this happen? I am in His word continuously, I pray, I confess… but it did, never the less and although, I am not completely sure…as my Mom would say, "I think I have an inkling."

What I feel in my spirit is that my boys have taken precedence in my life…take into account that Taylor is seeking a hockey scholarship, Needs the use of the rink and the friendships there-in and that Kev and I are trying to open every possible door for him, and it isn't too tough to imagine that I was working to control too much. Add to that, that I am always protective, first, when it comes to my children and you have a recipe for a real mess. But that I allowed any of that to Control my attitude, perspective or thinking … God help me.

So, for me, it’s time for some spiritual house cleaning. Back to basics…actively believing God above all else and forcing myself to expect love, favor, joy, blessing and GOODNESS in and from others. I am profusely sorry for not loving and, even, judging for Any reason, but Especially, for having NO reason. I am still learning and so very thankful for His patience, revelation and endless mercy! Praise Him!

"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end." 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 (The Message)

Lord God, please forgive me for putting anything ahead of You in my life. Forgive me for my judgments of others and for my lack of love, faith and trust in You. Thank You for showing me where I need more of You. I know that those who seek You, find You, so I will stay close all my days. I love You and praise You above all else. In Jesus Mighty Name,  Amen.

Teachable...

What does it mean to have a “teachable spirit”? (Matthew 13) Do you think you have one? Are you eager to hear what others have to say? Are you open and hungry for others ideas and points of view? Maybe you sensor or prejudge others (for countless reasons), deciding they could never offer you any good information; even those who may have gone before you, made mistakes, learned from them and now, are trying to save you the same trouble? Perhaps you've decided what you think is truth and stick to that regardless of what anyone says? Maybe you've even decided what God is capable of, how much He loves you, how He can show you that love and what He wants for your life? All of us have at some time or another. How have you limited our limitless God?

I’ve been pondering and praying about this for some time now and I can say, without reservation, that more than anything else in this life, I want to learn as much as I possibly can when it comes to Christ. WHATEVER that information may be and WHOM EVER it may come from….if it leads to more of Him, I’m there. Above all else, just give me Christ!

Growing up, the Word was changed and stretched, verses were picked over and chosen for me. Sometimes, select scripture would be left out all together. I grew up in a “fear of the Lord is healthy” kind of church. I never heard about His love for me, I only heard about what would happen to me IF I didn’t choose Him. I was never told about the “gifts of the spirit” and when I did hear of them, it was told to make us fearful of those gifts, or told to help us see how “radical” some had become in relation to His teachings. (There are “rules” that go along with the gifts of the spirit, but sadly, those sometimes, also, get sidelined. 1 Corinthians 14) The thought of a God that passionately loved me, chased after me, wanted more than anything else to bless me, would give His life for me and then would give me His own spirit and power to live in me and lead me through difficulties never, ever crossed my mind. Good Christian people; well meaning, Christian people, have always had a knack for avoiding the things: verses, people, churches, etc. that make them uncomfortable. I’m sure we’ve all had experience with this in some form or another. We stick to what’s safe. We stick to what’s comfortable. Stretching, pruning, growing, learning…is all extremely UNcomfortable sometimes.  But in order to live the life He's planned and hopes for us, it is also extremely necessary. 

Can you imagine living during Jesus’ lifetime? Can you imagine hearing Him speak to demons, watching Him cast out illnesses, raise people from the dead and Save everyone? How uncomfortable must that have been for some? Imagine the Pharisees, who thought they knew "all things God", seeing this carpenter perform unimaginable miracles right before their eyes, speaking with such love and compassion that multitudes of people followed him everywhere he went (Matthew 4, 5, 8, 9). My heart is overwhelmed. Imagine now, had those people turned their back to Him (as some did) and never received their healing, their deliverance, their salvation…His incomprehensible love. I cannot imagine a greater tragedy. Please God, never let that be me.

God has been so precious in my journey. He has led me to churches I swore I’d never attend because things happened there that might be uncomfortable and to pastors, leaders and fellow Christians, who knew so much more than I did, that I was overwhelmed by the Spirit of God in them. He LED me. I followed, sometimes afraid, but more than the feeling of fear, I wanted more of Him and  anything that would draw me closer. I followed… and I am thankful. ALL the places and leaders were instrumental in my growth. I would not be who I am today, were it not for those “unwanted” and “uncomfortable” places.

Today I chase after those churches and leaders.  I can’t get enough teachings that challenge me to grow and think differently. I sincerely hunger for more of Christ. Some days, I ache for His presence. I need Him. I need Him however I can get Him and I am, honestly, completely unashamed of how much I need Him. This has not always been the case. In the past, I have been a very independently minded person, very strong willed and unashamed of my opinions, however harmful they may be. I wanted what I wanted, thought what I thought and anyone who didn’t agree could just move out of the way. By the grace of God, and this burning hunger for more of Him, He has shown me, through love, the ONLY thing I really need is Him and with that has come sooo much more than I could ever ask or think.

Now, as an active follower of Christ, I am resolved to never “box” Him in. Never let it be said of me, that I limited Him in any way or that I decided what He’s capable of, how much He can love me or how much He can bless me.  The whole idea is preposterous. How completely foolish!  Why would anyone do that? And yet, we do it…everyday…limit, our awesome, all powerful, completely loving and absolutely faithful Father. The choice, as always, is ours.

As for me…above ALL else…just give me Jesus!

Heavenly Father, thank You for revealing Yourself to me more and more.  Thank You for taking me places and putting me in the presence of people who, although they might make me uncomfortable, they teach me something invaluable about You. Continue to grow me…I welcome it. Open my eyes to Your glory in whatever form it comes. In Jesus' Holy and Mighty name, Amen.

******************************

A few of my favorites include:

Leadership
Jimmy Evans - Trinity Fellowship Church, Amarillo, Texas
Robert Morris - Gateway Church, Southlake, Texas
Brady Boyd - New Life Church, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Bill Johnson - Bethel Church, Redding, California
Kenneth Hagin - Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
Kenneth Copeland - Ft. Worth, Texas
Creflo Dollar - Atlanta, Georgia

Books
Captivating - Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul - John and Stasi Eldredge
The Shack - William P. Young
When Heaven Invades Earth - Bill Johnson
Heavy Rain - Kris Valloton
Jesus Culture - Banning Liebscher

Worship
LivWorship
New Life Worship
Jesus Culture
Gateway Worship
Lakewood Worship
Kari Jobe
Kim Walker

The REAL TRUTH

This past week has been tough for our family. Without going into detail, I think I can sum it up best by saying, beyond a shadow of a doubt, we have been under attack. It has come from all sides: our health, our friends, fellow believers, from places we thought we had seen victory already and from new places we never even saw coming.  I’ll tell you, this week has tested our faith. At times, our hopes, our lives, and our futures, seemed to be in someone else’s hands…at least, that’s what this world wanted us to believe.

The real truth is, we are always in Someone Else’s hands!

We so quickly forget, don’t we?! The enemy works very hard to convince us that his version of the truth is the one we should believe. We have to actively remember that he is wrong, he’s a liar; he’s the enemy of ALL things good and the EXACT opposite of all things Christ (John 10:10). WHY do we even remotely believe him?! Ironic, that we have to work so hard not to, isn’t it? I mean, God was not subtle in telling us Who is truly in charge of our lives when we believe His Word over every other. He made a point, more than once, to tell us “fear not!” (versions of the phrase appear 365 times to be exact, one for each day of the year!) The real truth is that He holds our futures; He holds our lives...they are all in His hands first and foremost. We know better and still, it seems so difficult.

My Mom and I talk about this pretty often and we’ve decided that it’s absolutely due to the fact that we’re made of dirt. (Genesis 2:7) J A little silly and simple, I know. But then again, just as plain as the nose on your face…we are human and we live in this world. We were created by God Himself, but have spent all our days here, and not so much, with Him. We know worldly things much better than we know Him, so it stands to reason that believing the "unseen" is much more difficult for us than believing the "seen".

I heard a pastor say once that we were all born with the right programming, but like computers, we’ve all been infected with a virus that causes us to behave contradictory to our original intent. We, simply, need to invest in a great “anti-virus” and “reboot”!!  

 

Another real truth is: God’s word CAN be "seen". His word and His truth can become so real to us that we see nothing but Him. We can live in this world, but know that the things we see with our eyes and hear with our ears are not His reality. He made us magnificently (Psalm 139:14) …our hearts know His voice (John 10:27) and by (His) nature (breathed into us), we WANT to follow Him. It isn’t always easy, it takes time, dedication and determination, but it CAN be done...AND it is SOOO worth it!!  The more we learn His word, the more we meditate on and spend time with Him, the more real He becomes, until one day, His truth is ALL there is. (Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. Romans 10:17)

Everyday is better. I AM learning.

God IS faithful.  He fought for us when we couldn’t (and weren’t even given the opportunity to) fight for ourselves. He was our strength, He was our peace, He was our voice of truth and He was our vindicator!! Nothing that came against us this week was able to take a hold of us. When I think of how things could have gone, I mean, given the fact that we live IN THIS WORLD, I am amazed…and sooo unspeakably THANKFUL!

He is WONDERFUL, that’s all.

Lord God, You are magnificent. I am overwhelmed by Your goodness. I realize more and more that I HAVE to get to know You better! I HAVE to learn Your heart for me! I HAVE to believe Your voice over every other voice I hear. I know, it is absolutely detrimental to my walk and to the success of Your plan for me. I want more of You. Open my eyes to Your reality; to the healing, deliverance, victory, joy and peace that Your word promises to me and all those who love You, in the wonderful and mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

Legacy in Christ

Today, Kevin and I have been married 19 years. Thankful for this more than I can say for so many reasons. Kevin is the best, hands down, match for me...such a God thing. He takes great care of us, in every possible way and he is a wonderful, supportive, edifying father for our children. When I think of how we met, how unexpected it all was, I am in awe of God once again.  Throughout our lives, we had crossed paths and shared friends and never even knew it. God is truly amazing. I, also, can't reflect on our journey as a couple without remembering my parents, my grandparents and their parents before them. All still married or married until they went to live with Jesus. Without realizing it, they all passed down a wonderful blessing of a long, happy, marriage and now, Kevin and I are reaping the harvest. One day, our children will, too.

This always makes me think about how powerful our actions, our thoughts and our words are. We truly do reap what we sow, and as beneficiaries, so do our children. (Psalm 112:2) In the same way that we can bestow great blessings to our children, we can also pass along a legacy of curses. The things we "mean" to say and do AND the things we say in jest or do in fun, right or wrong, all work the same. Regardless of intention, they ALL have repercussions. 

This principle also works for non believers. Some people "get" the power of their thinking, their actions, their words and make it work for them. They know and say often they can do anything they set their minds to. And they do. Then again, how many people have you heard say, "Everyone around me is sick, I just KNOW, I'm going to get it, too."  Count the days, cause more than likely, they will. I've heard Joel Osteen say numerous times, "It's as much a psychological fact as it is a Biblical truth: thoughts become lives."

Job said, "The thing I have most feared has come upon me." (Job 3:25) Even though he was blessed beyond measure and believed God, he still "feared". A very powerful thought. He may not have even realized he was provoking a self fulfilling prophecy. By the same token, God says, we are "blessed in the city, in the country, coming and going, we will lend to many nations and never borrow, we are the head and not the tail, above always and never beneath." (Deut. 28:1-12) Jesus said, "ALL things are possible with God." (Matthew 19:26) and we are "more than conquerors." (Romans 8:37) The choice is ours to make. Which will we choose?

The point is, even without knowing it, we all have habits, language, actions and thoughts that pave the way either for the positive or the negative to be brought forth in our lives. My grandparents were like us all, just trying to get from one day to the next, my Grandfather; in and out of wars and back and forth to work, my Grandmother; with 4 children to raise, meals to cook, laundry to do and both; with a church, a home, a garden and horses to tend. I'm sure grandchildren hardly entered their minds. Still, here we are, 2 and 3 generations later, enjoying a life and marriage that continues to get better with each passing year and I believe that it's greatly due to their actions, thoughts and words.

Like every parent, I want everything wonderful for our children, our grandchildren and all those that follow until my Jesus returns. I want them to know a loving and caring God Who desires to give them His Kingdom; Who desires to hold nothing back. (Luke 12:32) My hope is that they will never struggle with the same difficulties that Kevin and I have. I know that God wants that for all of us, too, since He came to this world to give us "life in abundance, to the full, till it overflows." (John 10:10) 

Praise God, it's never too late. We can begin today, or even begin again today. :)  Right now, let us believe, boldly declare, claim and prophesy, "out with the old and in with His new". Let us learn His word, guard it in our hearts and keep it always on our lips. We have already been given abundant lives. It is ours, if we will but choose. Life or death, by what we think, say and do. (Proverbs 18:21)

Father God, I thank you for the truth of Your Word. I thank You for Your plan for myself and my family that is filled with Your goodness. I pray that You, continually, opens my eyes to the things in my life that aren't pleasing to You, so that I can call forth Your truth in those areas, break free from the past defeats and pave the way for a more blessed and absolutely victorious future for my family. In the name of Jesus, I declare that I WILL pass down a legacy of abundant living in You. Thank You for all You've blessed me with.  I love You and I praise You with all my heart. Amen.

David and My Boys

Even those who aren't Bible scholars are familiar with David's story. I heard it often growing up as it has always been one my Dad's favorites. Filled up with little nuggets of power, it's also one I have come to love and lean on more and more as the years have gone by and my faith has been called higher. Not many things have called me to new levels like raising our children, and as our boys grow and their big dreams encounter challenges, He always, reminds me again...

Our family is changing dramatically. Everyday, it seems. My boys are growing up in front of my eyes and leaving me with so many questions, it's sometimes hard to clear my head even to pray for them. Even as I write, my thoughts are scattered. There seem to be many giants laying in wait for their time, their talents, their hearts, their character, their futures. The world screams how they must fit into this mold or that one. They Must reach this. They Have to do that. So many things I want for them. So many things I hope their futures hold. As a mom, I'm desperate for a "good plan" for their lives, and yet, as a believer, I know He has one...and it's far better than anything my human mind can even fathom. I KNOW this, and still I wonder and sometimes, worry. 

Then He reminds me of David. A shepherd boy, who in faith, defeated a giant. When no one, even a King, believed he could do it. When his family stood against him and the soldiers he looked up to, laughed at him for even suggesting he was capable of taking on such an enormous task, he still knew he was able, because his God was able. And there's the lesson right there.

So the story goes like this: (1 Samuel 17 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Samuel%2017:1-50&version=NLT)

At his father's request, David goes to take some bread, cheese, etc, to his brothers on the battlefield. There, he finds them in a sort of "stand-off" with these gigantic Philistines. Over 9 feet tall, the Bible says. The champion of this group, Goliath, has been yelling at the troops, "taunting" them, for 40 days, telling them how pathetic they are and how he is going to hand them their heads personally. OK, he really just said he would make them his slaves after he beat them, which I'm thinking, would likely, be worse than having my head handed to me!!

My knees knock just thinking about how this must have gone down. Proven and mighty warriors of God's army standing there, looking Goliath up and down. And Goliath, almost totally covered in armor, is ready to slaughter them all by himself.  I imagine he looked completely capable, too, don't you?!

Then, David...a young boy, who's just there to make a delivery, instead of doing his job and going right home, says, in essence, "Let me at him!" HA! I'm sure they all thought, "Yeah, right." But David was adamant. After all, the same God that helped him slay the lions who came for his sheep would absolutely, also, hand him the head of the Philistine. To him, it was simple. So, after trying on armor that didn't fit and selecting 3 smooth stones for his sling, (yes, his sling!) the story says "He RAN toward" the giant.  He RAN?! That's absolute certainty right there! He knew who held his future and he was unafraid and ready to take on this challenge. What faith! My mind is blown...

David KNEW His God was faithful. In this life and death situation, he could have easily walked away and no one would have thought a thing about it. Yet, he stayed, stood firm on what he knew to be truth and filled a position that even the adult, fully trained soldiers and King himself, wouldn't fill. Amazing. God had a plan. David walked it out. In faith. As a child. Wow. Here I am again, completely in awe.

I am, also, resigned to drawing as close as I can to God. I want so much to exhibit the David kind of faith. I want to know-that-I-know how faithful He is. And I want my boys to know how faithful He is.  I want them to trust Him with their lives. I want them to know they can RUN TOWARD their giants unafraid and know that God does have an amazing plan and He will bring it to pass. Whatever comes our way, whatever obstacles we face, whatever "giants" are in our paths, may we face them head on and run toward them unafraid.

I believe the key is, we have to be in agreement with Him, and believe Him wholeheartedly ... like David.

Holy God, I so much want to display faith and such belief in You that others desire to know You and trust You, too. Draw me closer and grow me in your Word continuously. Let me see Your face and hear Your voice, let there be no doubt in my heart and mind. You are wonderful, all powerful and completely faithful. You are precious to my heart and I love You.  Thank You for my life, my salvation and all You've given me. Help me to be a blessing everywhere I go and to everyone I meet. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen.